The Partially Informed Philosopher

The Continuing Power Struggle Between David and Saul (1 Samuel Chapter 19)

2012-01-24T15:30:00.000-08:00

David and Jonathan chat while chilling on a rock. Image from LookandLearn.org King Saul, who still does not know that Yahweh (aka God) doesn't want him to be king anymore, is still squabbling with the young David, who seems to have attracted Yahweh's favor. In this chapter, Saul reveals some of his nefarious plans to his son Jonathan. But, as we read in the last chapter, Jonathan seems to

Possible Gay Couple in the Old Testament! (1 Samuel, Chapter 18)

2012-01-10T10:27:00.000-08:00

Jonathan and David in a loving embrace. Image from St-Takla.org There may not have been an Adam and Steve, but there was a Jonathan and Dave. Chapter 18 opens up with the understandably little known story of Jonathan and David, and it reads like they were gay lovers of the type found in Athenian or Carthaginian soldiers, like the Sacred Band of Thebes. Now, I'm sure there's plenty of

David Slays Goliath (1 Samuel, Chapter 17)

2011-12-22T14:30:00.000-08:00

David slays Goliath. From kingjamesbibleonline.org Perhaps one of the most well-known stories of the Bible is about young David killing the giant Philistine champion named Goliath. Prior to David's encounter with Goliath, the Israelites and the Philistines have been battling it out for at least 40 days near the Valley of Elah, in a place called Ephesdammin. During each of those days,

Yahweh Chooses A New King (1 Samuel, Chapter 16)

2011-12-16T16:23:00.000-08:00

Samuel anoints David. Image from Wikipedia Chapter 16 is an interesting chapter. It's about how Yahweh (God) chooses a new king, largely because the previous king (Saul) did not kill everyone and everything as he was commanded. This chapter has some contradictions and just overall foolishness. It starts with God asking Samuel how long he's going to mourn over the loss of Saul as

Saul bumbles again (1 Samuel, Chapter 15)

2011-12-07T10:03:00.001-08:00

Saul grabs Samuel's robe, and accidentally tears it (15:27). Image from HTML Bible Chapter 15 is pretty straight forward. Basically, God (aka Yahweh) remembers that Amalekites did some pretty mean things to the Israelites a few hundred years ago, so He orders that they should be exterminated - elderly, men, women, children, infants, livestock, EVERYTHING). Saul does a few things wrong

Should Saul's Son Die Because He Ate Honey? (1 Samuel, Chapter 14)

2011-11-16T09:40:00.001-08:00

Archaeologists think these two rocks at Michmach Gorge (forefront), are the rocks named Bozez and Seneh, mentioned in this chapter. From LifeInTheHolyLand.com In this chapter, we're faced with an interesting question. If a rule is made, but someone who didn't hear the rule breaks it, should that person be punished? In this chapter, Saul's son Jonathan and perhaps 600 men secretly leave

Samuel Rebukes Paul (1 Samuel, Chapter 13)

2011-11-02T09:47:00.000-07:00

Samuel gets pissed at Saul for being impatient and offering a sacrifice too soon. From Outset Ministry I guess old Saul started getting a little power hungry, or he was starting to displease the clergy. Chapter 13 starts off with Saul sending troops to take out the Philistine garrison in nearby Geba. Naturally, Philistines in surrounding areas were pissed after hearing about this, and

Samuel Shows Off (1 Samuel, Chapter 12)

2011-10-20T10:48:00.000-07:00

Samuel, the guy who with the help of Yahweh crowned the Israelites' first king, goes out to the people and tells them what's up. "I heard your voice and have made a king for you. He walks among you today. Tell me, is there any among you who can say I stole from them, lied to them, or received a bribe? Anyone?," taunted Sam. (12:1) Of course, I think that if this story is true there was

The Slaughter of the Ammonites (1 Samuel, Chapter 11)

2011-10-12T09:04:00.000-07:00

David Punishing the Ammonites. By Gustave Dore, created in the 1800s Strange things start brewing when an Ammonite named Nahash meets up with the elders of Judah. The elders offer a peace treaty and an alliance (i.e. a covenant), and Nahash essentially says, "We can have peace if you allow me to pluck out each of your right eyes." The elders are taken aback, and said, "Hm, give us seven

The Coronotion of Saul (1 Samuel, Chapter 10)

2011-10-04T16:07:00.000-07:00

Saul preaching at Ramah. Credit: By David Martin (1639-1721).This painting is more than 100 years old. The most interesting thing about reading the Bible is marveling how simple its authors are. We really get a feel for what impresses them. We come across obvious errors in the text, which are irreconcilable to the dogma that the Bible is "inerrant". Chapter 10 is basically about

Yahweh Chooses Saul As King of the Israelites (1 Samuel, Chapter 9)

2011-09-27T16:13:00.000-07:00

In Chapter 9, a young man named Saul is introduced. He's tall, handsome, and "goodly". In fact, he's the "goodliest" man of all the Benjamites. One day he was sent, along with a servant, to look for his father's donkeys, and he went all over the land looking for those damned donkeys, too! Finally, as fate would have it, he happened upon the city in which Samuel (the current judge) was

Israelites Demand a King (1 Samuel, Chapter 8)

2011-09-13T09:07:00.000-07:00

King Saul, from Wikimedia Commons While Samuel was a good judge, his two sons were apparently a couple of crooks; caring mostly about money, taking bribes, and having bad judgment in general. So, the Israelites didn't want these two guys running the show. Instead, they wanted to have a king to judge them. Samuel was a little butthurt about this and consulted old Yahweh. Yahweh said by

Retrieving the Ark of the Covenant

2011-09-06T14:22:00.000-07:00

The Ark of the Covenant found ... at DragonCon!!! Photo by Olaf Gradin Retrieving the Ark of the Covenant (Chapter 7) - Since last time, the Philistines have been in a mad dash to rid themselves of the Ark of the Covenant, which has brought nothing but suffering to them. In Chapter 7, the Ark finds itself in an old house in the town of Kirjathjearim, where it stays for about 20 years!

2011-08-24T14:17:00.000-07:00

A golden nugget found in a Las Vegas casino. Does it look like a hemorrhoid?Photo by Ken Lund, Creative Commons Give unto God ... um ... golden images of your hemorrhoids? (1 Samuel, Chapter 6) - As I read through the Bible, I am continuously struck by the things that I missed the first time around! This chapter did not disappoint me in weirdness. The Philistines, in shock because so many

2011-08-16T16:28:00.000-07:00

The Semitic fertility god Dagon. Public Domain. Bad luck follows those who house the Ark of the Covenant (Chapter 5) - A series of unfortunate events followed the captors of the Israelites' Ark of the Covenant, first to the city of Ashdod. First, the Philistines lay the Ark next to a statue of Dagon, the Philistine fertility god. The next morning, Dagon was facedown on the ground. Thinking

2011-07-28T18:40:00.000-07:00

Eli falls off his chair. Image from Souljourner Blog. Hebrews Suffer an Odd Defeat (1 Samuel Chapter 4) - In Chapter 4, the Israelites (or Hebrews) are at odds with the dreaded Philistines. The Philistines were about to attack when they heard an immense shout come from the Israelite camp. I guess the Ark of the Covenant had just come into the camp. At first, the Philistines were intimidated

2011-07-14T11:32:00.000-07:00

Samuel sleeping, just before he is "called". Photo by Amanda Truss Samuel receives his calling (1 Samuel, Chapter 3) - How awesome would it be to actually know beforehand your calling in life? Well, in this chapter the young child Samuel receives his calling, and it is fairly amusing story. Late at night, the child Samuel is awakened by a voice calling him. He goes to his dad (Eli) and

2011-07-07T10:11:00.000-07:00

The wrath of God? Photo by ReubenInStt Instilling the fear of Yahweh (1 Samuel, Chapter 2) - This chapter is all about instilling a sense of awe and fear toward Yahweh, and in a way it mirrors similar chapters in other books I've already went through. First, the general impression is this - be faithful and you will get great rewards in life: wealth, family, success, etc. But if for you don't

2011-06-29T10:32:00.000-07:00

Hannah pleads to God. Image from 'My Year of Jubilee' The Birth of Samuel (1 Samuel, Chapter 1) - Samuel is born into a turbulent, polygamist family; and Chapter 1 focuses largely on his mother Hannah. Hannah is the true love of Elkanah, though he had another wife. Hannah was barren (it says God 'shut her womb'), but the other wife did. The other wife's name was Peninnah. Peninnah was

2011-06-23T11:45:00.000-07:00

Boaz purchases Ruth as a wife (Ruth, Chapter 4) - I remember when I first got married, and my wife's father gave her to me. Though the ritual is largely symbolic these days, we shouldn't remember the tradition from which it came. In the past, wives truly were the property of the husband. Ruth, the Moabitess, was a widow. However, and if I'm wrong someone please correct me, it seems she was

2011-06-15T15:47:00.000-07:00

When Boaz Met Ruth (Ruth, Chapter 3) - Up until now, the story was something that might parallel Thelma & Louise. But it now it has made a twist from the modern story of feminine friendship, to an ancient desert tribeswoman's attempt to get a well-to-do Israelite in the sack. Ruth's former mother-in-law (Ruth's husband died, remember?), Naomi, comes up with an idea for Ruth to hook up with Boaz

2011-06-08T16:26:00.000-07:00

Ruth meets Boaz (Ruth, Chapter 2) - When she got to Bethlehem with her mother-in-law Naomi, Ruth began working. In particular, she was harvesting "corn" when the local landowner (or lord) approached her. His name was Boaz. So right there we have a problem. Corn is something that was only known in the Americas, and the Americas were not known to the people of the Middle East at that time.

2011-06-01T15:03:00.000-07:00

Photo by Robert Bejil Photography, Creative Commons The ancient story of Thelma and Louise (Ruth, Chapter 1) - Who are the two hotties shown above, and why did I choose their photo? Because I can't put photos from the movie Thelma and Louise, for copyright reasons. But the two women pictured tell the story, a story about an intense friendship between two women. That is the story that is being

2011-05-25T10:59:00.000-07:00

The Tribe of Benjamin's emblem.Image from S.S. Teacher Edition: Holy Bible, 1896 Keeping up the Benjamins (Judges, Chapter 21) - Prior to Chapter 20, the Israelites had formed a loose confederation of 12 tribes which were ruled by a council of judges. After the events of Chapter 20 at the Battle of Gibeah, the tribe of Benjamin was decimated because they had tried to either kill, or gangrape,

2011-05-18T14:07:00.000-07:00

Israelites Respond to Women's Dismemberment with Civil War (Judges, Chapter 20) - After the parts of the concubine reach the various regions of Israel, the Israelites gather up and ask the man responsible, "What the hell did you do this for?!?" They actually said something a little mild, recorded in the King James Bible as "How was this wickedness?" The man who carved up his concubine

2011-05-03T13:25:00.000-07:00

The Rape at Bethlehemjudah (Judges 19) - By far, this story is probably the most grotesque chapter I've read yet. It doesn't involve the slaughter of thousands, but involves the gangrape of [almost] two women. As Joseph Stalin said, "You kill one man (or gangrape one women), it is a tragedy. You kill 10 million, it is a statistic."What is even worse is the implication at the end of the

2011-04-19T14:43:00.000-07:00

Micah returns silver to his mother, which she made into an idol. The Danites find their homes (Judges 18) - In this chapter, the Danites find a home and settle it. They basically took it from the "quiet and secure" people of Laish. The Danites were just looking for a new place to settlement. Perhaps they too had been displaced by the Philistines. After all, they had iron chariots, right? Not

2011-03-30T18:08:00.000-07:00

Physicist Lawrence Krauss Soundly Defeats Apologist William Lane Craig in God Debate - In a stunning but perhaps unsurprising upset, Physicist Lawrence Krauss utterly annihilated professional Christian debater William Lane Craig at a debate at North Carolina State University on March 30. Craig argued four points of deism, and one point about the historicity of Jesus, to lay the case that God

2011-03-30T12:15:00.000-07:00

Micah, from Book of Judges Introducing Micah, (Judges Chapter 17) - This is a very short chapter. It introduces Micah, presumably one of the judges of Judah and Israel. Micah appears to be a pagan, who uses money to make graven images. Later in this chapter, he takes in a Levite priest whom I think will play some role in the upcoming chapters. Partially Informed Chapter Rating Action: N/A

2011-03-24T10:29:00.000-07:00

Samson's Big Finale (Judges Chapter 16) - I like how Chapter 16 opens up; Samson finds a harlot and goes in unto her. This guy's a friggin' rock star! He then wakes up at midnight, grabs the city gates and the two posts and takes them to the top of a hill. WTF!!! And the Bible says nothing as to why he did that. Well anyways, he winds up falling in love with some chick named Delilah, who

2011-03-17T11:33:00.000-07:00

Samson slays a Philistine with the jawbone of an ass. Samson the Superhero (Judges 15) - Imagine if, after being married, your spouse's father suddenly thought that you didn't love his child enough, and instead GIVES them to another person. What would you do? Of course, you'd probably be angry, but there is a litany of possible things that you could do. You could reason with him. You could

2011-03-11T15:36:00.000-08:00

Samson rasslin' with a lion. Photo from Paul K, Creative Commons Samson gets his girl, tears a lion apart with his bare hands, and other fun stuff, (Judges 14) - Samson is such a dude. He's that hyper-male action hero that we've been watching on TV for so long, like John Wayne, Chuck Norris, Charles Bronson, Schwarzenegger, etc. that many of us guys looked up to. Except, he could probably put

2011-03-03T11:48:00.000-08:00

Samson is one the most famous of Biblical heroes, but he was also one of the most sadistic. Samson, the Beginning (Judges Chapter 13) - One again, the Israelites start "doing evil in the sight of God." More than likely, they've sunk into their old ways and began worshiping OTHER gods! This fake problem is portrayed as the biggest issue for the Israelites, and one of the biggest fears for the

2011-02-24T16:24:00.000-08:00

More Senseless Violence in Judges (Judges Chapter 12) - This chapter is thankfully very short, but in its few words is chronicled the alleged deaths of 42,000 people. Why were these people killed? Because they failed to say "Shibboleth" correctly. Seriously. Apparently, the victims accent led them to say "Sibboleth" instead. Here's what happened: some of Ephraim's men were pissed that the

2011-02-15T12:38:00.000-08:00

Jephtha's Daughter (Judges, Chapter 11) - History repeats itself. You know what else repeats itself? The Bible. Judges, Chapter 11 is basically the same struggle to control land that has been spoken of in almost every chapter of the Old Testament so far. The Israelites get screwed, a new holy man rises up and leads them to conquer, the new guy dies, the Israelites fall back into their

2011-02-03T16:23:00.000-08:00

God sells the Israelites into slavery, Judges Chapter 10 - Aside from the mention of thirty "ass colts", there's not much to say about Chapter 10 except that Yahweh gets angry because the Israelites start worshiping other gods (yet again!). In response to this travesty, He sells them to the Philistines. Here's a weird thought - why would God sell an entire population of people into slavery

2011-01-27T10:26:00.000-08:00

This tree looks like he's got something interesting to say. - Image from Gabriel Millos, Creative Commons Lord of the Israelites: A Tale of Talking Trees, mass fratricide, and Divine vengeance (Judges Chapter 9) - Abimelech was one of the 70 or so sons of Gideon. He gained power by killing all of the other brothers, "on one stone" no less. Seventy brothers killed on one stone - perhaps he was

2011-01-20T09:38:00.000-08:00

Baal-Berith, an ancient pagan god that a more recent heavy metal band named themselves after. Here's the cover of their album. Israel's Ongoing Battle With Paganism (Judges, Chapter 8) - One of the recurring themes with the Israelites is that one pushy guy gets them to worship Yahweh, and then upon said pushy guy's death, they go back to worshiping other gods. This tells me that if these

2011-01-12T20:45:00.000-08:00

At the end of the chapter, two Midianite leaders are decapitated and their heads brought to Gideon. From Firaze Shakir Gideon Defeats an Army With Only 300 Men (Judges, Chapter 7) - Good ol' Gideon, now that he's been selected to be Yahweh's chosen general, must now select men for his army. The selection process is very odd indeed. Starting with about 32,000 people, Gideon asks those who are

2011-01-04T14:48:00.000-08:00

Image from Light4Us Blog Gideon vs. the Midianites (Judges Chapter 6) - Right off the bat, I've come across yet another contradiction. Remember in the Book of Numbers when the Israelites took out ALL of the Midianite men? (Numbers 31:7) Well, they're back and they've become such a nuisance that Judges Ch. 6 is basically dedicated to their destruction - again. This time the protagonist is a

2010-12-29T12:27:00.000-08:00

A Duet Before an Assassination (Judges, Chapter 5) - Okay, five chapters into Judges and I've concluded that it is just a horribly written book. Chapter 5 seems like a slightly different version then Chapter 4. First, Deborah and Barak (not the President, of course) sing a praise to Yahweh. They totally hype him up, talking about He marched on the fields of Edom, and about how mountains

2010-12-21T15:36:00.000-08:00

God's Kryptonite - An Iron Chariot! God Can't Stop Iron Chariots! (Judges, Chapter 4) - These early chapters seem to be more about deception then judges. When last we left off, Yahweh (aka God) had allowed the Israelites to be sold as slaves, and in chapter 1:19 God apparently was unable to stop iron chariots. The story changes though and Yahweh is now able to cope with these iron chariots,

2010-12-15T15:26:00.000-08:00

Baal, one of many gods and goddesses that the Israelites "struggled" with. God Uses His Own Failure to Set Up the Israelites (Judges, Chapter 3) - Just finished Chapter 3, and it was nothing more than a repeat of Chapter 2. If we remember Chapter 2, the Israelite's God fails to drive out all the inhabitants of the area, and instead chooses to let the Israelites dwell among the people and have

2010-12-09T13:52:00.000-08:00

Admiring a golden calf idol, Image from www.gerardnedal.com Why Most People Can't Read the Bible (Judges, Chapter 2) - As soon as I opened up Chapter 2, I was hit by an rather interesting story about Yahweh (aka God) purposely tricking Israelites to not believe in Him, so that He wouldn't have to live up to His promises. Yahweh is such a trickster, isn't He? Basically, He sent an angel down to

2010-11-30T09:53:00.000-08:00

Israelites cut off the thumbs and big toes of Adoni Bezek. Image from boomerinthepew.com Book of Judges Opens Up With Some Intense Bloodshed, Torture (Judges Chapter 1) - With the Book of Joshua behind me, I thought I'd have a fresh new outlook. But who am I kidding? This is the Old Testament. As soon as Joshua dies, the people of Israel ask "How are we going to get the Canaanites we DIDN'T

2010-11-19T12:39:00.000-08:00

The ancient god Molech was a contemporary of Yahweh. Joshua's Final Message (Joshua 23 & 24) - Reading the Old Testament is kind of cool, because we can really get a picture of the mindset of the people who founded a religion that would eventually evolve into Christianity, Islam, and even Mormonism. In this story, Joshua is about 110 years old and he knows he's about to kick the bucket.

2010-11-02T15:48:00.000-07:00

Yet Even MORE Bickering On How to Divide the Spoils!!! Joshua Ch. 21 and 22 - Alright, I've read two more chapters and the Israelite tribes are still trying divide the spoils. Chapter 21, especially is all about that. So, rather than get into the specifics about Chapter 21, it would be more useful (and fun) to point out the contradictions, false prophecies, and fun stuff within it. In

2010-10-27T09:59:00.000-07:00

Joshua divides the Israelites' inheritance by lot. www.freebibleillustrations.com More Dividing the Spoils (Joshua 16, 17, 18, 19, and 20) - Damn! A large chunk of the Book of Joshua is just dividing up the spoils of war to the various Israelite tribes. Chapter 16 through 19 are basically the same thing. "These guys get this lot of land, those guys get that lot of land." The only thing

2010-10-21T10:50:00.000-07:00

Contradictions in Joshua Ch. 15? - First of all, I think one planning to read the Bible can skip this chapter. It's just more dividing up conquered lands to people. But, if you're interested in contradictions there's some in here. The first one comes up in Joshua 15:20, 33. It says "this is the inheritance of the tribe of the children of Judah ... in the valley, Eshataol and Zoreah. But

2010-10-12T10:05:00.000-07:00

Joshua Divides Conquered Territories Amongst Israelite Tribes (Joshua Chapter 13) - Joshua is getting pretty old now, and now he is given the task of dividing the conquered lands and appropriating them to the various Israelite tribes. There's not much else to it, so I don't want to bore you, except that there seems to be a confusion of names. It starts off with Joshua being old and told my

2010-10-07T08:50:00.000-07:00

Just a few leftover giants from the time of Moses. From theholychao.atorium.net A List of Kings Killed? (Joshua 12) - Okay, so after the havoc wrought in the previous chapters, it appears that Chapter 12 is an inventory of dead kings. I read it three or four times, and I admit I can't make much sense of it, so if anyone knows what it means, please tell me. But, my impression is that Chapter

2010-09-21T10:35:00.000-07:00

Israelites Under Joshua Continue Their War (Joshua 11) - So, it's not over. Apparently, there's still a few more people still alive in the surrounding regions, and they've decided to retaliate against the Israelites. Haven't these people learned their lesson? I guess it's hard to learn when the Creator of the Universe tricks you into dying. King Jabin of Hazor called on many different

2010-09-09T13:48:00.000-07:00

The Israelites Go On a Rampage! (Joshua 10) - Wow, so now the storytellers who wrote Joshua have turned up the volume on their maniacal war tales! Joshua 10 is basically a tale of the Israelites defending their ally in Gibeon from five Amorite armies. "Quick, Joshua! Hurry and bring your army, because we need help badly!" That was basically the message from the Gibeons to Joshua. And

2010-09-02T14:08:00.000-07:00

The Israelites Gain More Slaves (Joshua Ch. 9) - After the slaughter of the people of Ai, and the lynching of their king, masses of people start showing up to ally themselves with the Israelites. Of course, this is all according to the Bible, there is no archaeological evidence to support this. Among these people are the Hivites (the stone carving above depicts a Hivite), who - like the others

2010-08-31T09:48:00.000-07:00

The Destruction of Ai and the Lynching of a King (Joshua 8): What started out as an intriguing spy story is becoming a tale of genocide, written by its perpetrators. Chapter 8 is about how the Israelites ambushed the Ai army; slaughtered them; slaughtered the inhabitants of the city; hung their king on a tree; and then killed a bunch of livestock as an animal sacrifice. I remember seeing a

2010-08-24T12:07:00.000-07:00

Joshua Ch. 7: Entire Family Executed Because Dad Looted Jericho - After taking Jericho, Yahweh gets pissed off. Achan, son of Zerah, apparently did a little looting after Jericho. Shortly thereafter, Israelites lose a battle against the men of Ai. So, Joshua gets paranoid and asks Yahweh, "What's the big deal?" Yahweh says that Achan, son of Zerah, took "the accursed thing" and that he

2010-08-18T15:22:00.000-07:00

Yahweh's Strategy for Taking Down Jericho - Jericho was allegedly a city that was surrounded by great walls. Back in the Bronze Age, the usual method of taking down walled cities was a long and drawn out siege. Fortunately, the Israelites had the Creator of the Universe to help them take out the town of Jericho. His strategy? Seven Israelite priests will blow into ram's horns seven times a

2010-08-03T09:54:00.000-07:00

Yahweh Demands that Israelites be Circumcised a SECOND Time!!! Ouch! (Joshua, Chapter 5) - Imagine that you're a soldier in Iraq a few years ago. You're lined up with a few hundred other men, crouched down behind a ditch and ready to move into Fallujah. It's expected to be a vicious firefight. And, for the sake of argument let's pretend that you've already been circumcised at birth. Then

2010-07-28T13:34:00.000-07:00

Above: The Gilgal Gardens in Salt Lake City. Photo from 15 Bytes Joshua Builds a Monument to the Israelites Crossing of the Jordan River - At the time that Joshua was written, there must have been some sort of monument, or a peculiar grouping of stones, in the Jordan River and also another set on the banks of it (or not too far from shore). Those who saw the stones probably wondered where

2010-07-14T10:45:00.000-07:00

Yahweh Lies to Joshua (Chapter 3) - Chapter 3 is very similar in wording to the last chapters. Yahweh once again promises Joshua, and Joshua reports in 3:10, "He (Yahweh, or God) will without fail drive out from before you the Canaanites, and the Hittites, and the Hivites, and the Perizzites, and the Girgashites, and the Amorites, and the Jebusites" In essence, this is a lie that will become

2010-07-07T14:02:00.000-07:00

There sure are a lot of prostitutes in the Bible (Joshua, Chapter 2) - It's no secret that prostitution is one of the oldest professions. There will always be a demand for sex, no matter what legal restrictions are put on it. In this case, the prostitute becomes a central character in the story, and there's a little foreshadowing to show that she's going to play a part later on as well.

2010-07-03T10:31:00.000-07:00

Joshua of Nun (Joshua 1:1) - Immediately after Moses's death, Yahweh looks to Joshua, the Son of Nun. Yahweh (aka the Judeo-Christian God) says to Joshua that He will not fail him, and "every place that the sole of your foot shall tread upon, I will give unto you." So, let's not bandy about here. In order to be a fundamentalist Christian today, we have to believe the following: the

2010-06-22T16:43:00.000-07:00

Moses dies, couldn't have written Deuteronomy - Many religious people contend that Moses wrote the first five books of the Bible (the Pentateuch) by himself. That can't be, because how could he have written Chapter 34, which is essentially his obituary? It's a very short chapter, too. Moses dies in Moab and is buried somewhere near Bethpeor, but no one knows where his tomb is (Deut. 34:6).

2010-06-22T16:28:00.000-07:00

Moses does a final shout to his boys - Before he dies, Moses does a shout out to his boys in the leadership caste of the Israelites in Chapter 33. It's not too much really, just the glorious rantings of a dying old man who probably never existed. One thing that's weird is that in the beginning it says that these are Moses's words, but Moses is mentioned in the list of people being praised. In

2010-06-17T11:51:00.000-07:00

Deuteronomy 32: Is God Bipolar?- If Yahweh had a psychologist to evaluate Him, it's pretty clear that He'd be diagnosed with a severe case of bipolar disorder. This is of course bad news to His followers. Chapter 32 starts off nice, Moses talking about how great Yahweh is and how perfect His work is. And then, with almost no transition, it sinks into the macabre. Literally, here's the

2010-06-10T13:56:00.000-07:00

At 120 years old, Moses begins to worry about his legacy. Moses prepares to die - In a man's waning years, he becomes worried, perhaps even paranoid, that all of the things that he worked for in this life will go to hell in a handbasket. This is the image I get of the author of Deuteronomy, Chapter 31. Moses, whom aside from the Bible there appears to be no evidence of being a real person,

2010-06-03T10:45:00.000-07:00

Did this gentleman choose to jump up and down at the beach, or is it the Will of God? Deuteronomy 30 - The Lord thy God will circumcise your heart ..." Thanks, Yahweh. Having all that extra skin on there is a sure way for it to get dirty. Fortunately, Deuteronomy is quick, dirty, and mercifully short. It's basically the same format as the last few chapters. "If you do what Yahweh says, He'll

2010-05-25T14:27:00.000-07:00

Meet Maniac, from the Israeli band Mayhem. Photo from BlabberPhotos2 on Photo Bucket. Briefly, Deuteronomy 29 brings us back to sanity. And it's not sanity like we think of it, it's like when a raging maniac calms down to rest after hacking 30 people into pieces. Gone are the explicit and descriptive curses that were part of chapter 28. Now, it's more of a yearning. A pleading. Moses says

2010-05-19T09:57:00.000-07:00

One of the worst punishments for not following Yahweh and the Levite priests' advice: You'll eat your own children! Family value meals! (Deuteronomy 28:53-55) Deuteronomy 28 is a descent into madness. Here's a basic rundown. It starts off innocent enough. If you follow Yahweh and listen to the advice of the priests, you (meaning 'the Israelites') will: Be blessed in the city and in the

2010-05-12T16:49:00.000-07:00

Don't uncover your father's skirt! Deuteronomy Chapter 27 is another quick chapter. Here's the basic message: When you're passing Jordan and going into the land of milk and honey, build an altar of whole stones on Mount Ebal. After burning offerings at the altar, write on the stones the following commandments. First, Seimeon, Levi, Judah, Issachar, Joseph, and Benjamin should stand on Mt.

2010-05-08T08:08:00.000-07:00

Don't feed dead people. - Deuteronomy 26:14 Deuteronomy 26 is nice and short, and like the other chapters it's a list of arbitrary rules. Here's basically what it says: Give the first fruit of your crops to Yahweh (actually the priesthood). The justification for this: Yahweh brought them out of Egypt. Every three years, give more to the poor, the strangers, the priesthood, orphans, and widows.

2010-04-21T10:32:00.000-07:00

Deuteronomy, Chapter 25 is another list of arbitrary rules that leave me wondering what situation created a need for them in the first place? Rule 1. If a judge convicts someone as guilty in a dispute, the judge can issue no more than 40 lashes by a whip. Anymore than that would be publicly humiliating. Rule 2. Don't muzzle an ox while he's working; in other words, let the ox eat while it

2010-04-15T16:20:00.000-07:00

Deuteronomy 24 is fun, because it is weird. There is no unifying message behind this chapter, except maybe advice on how to resolve disputes. I think. 1. The first lesson is about divorce and remarriage. If the man doesn't like her for some "unclean" reason, he can divorce her and then she can remarry. But if the second husband doesn't like her for some "unclean" reason, then the first

2010-04-08T12:06:00.000-07:00

Deuteronomy, Chapter 23 has more sets of obscure rules. Here they are: Preserving the Male Genetic Line 1. A man whose testicles are injured must not be admitted into the congregation of Yahweh.2. Bastards (male children without fathers) cannot be admitted into the congregation of Yahweh.3. Moabites and Ammonites may never be admitted into the congregation of Yahweh, even later generations.4.

2010-04-01T10:06:00.000-07:00

Here are some more rules as laid out in Deuteronomy, Chapter 22. Notice how they get more morbid as they progress. Look out for your brother's animals and keep them harm. Transvestites are an abomination. If you come across a birds nest, you can take the eggs and the chicks, but not the mother. When you build a house, make sure the roof is strong. Don't wear garments of mixed fabrics (i.e.

2010-03-24T10:32:00.000-07:00

Deuteronomy's Chapters 19 through 21 deal with what sort of killing is okay in the eyes of Yahweh. Dealing with the Difference Between Murder and ManSlaughter Chapter 19 is a sort of amendment to the Sixth Commandment: Thou shalt not murder. First, anyone that kills his neighbor should be executed. Specifically, he ought to be killed by the victim's closest relative, whom the ancient

2010-03-22T10:12:00.001-07:00

Sam Harris talks about how science can, and should, be an important factor of morality.

2010-03-18T15:44:00.000-07:00

In my many conversations with apologists, Bible thumpers, and the extremely pious; I've found that the most effective way to "win" starts off by showing that the argument for a) the existence of god, and b) the god they believe in, require completely different proofs. Former apologist John Loftus writes about it in his blog 'Debunking Christianity' as well. Numerous nonbelievers, like Sam Harris

2010-03-16T08:58:00.000-07:00

I just read Deuteronomy, Chapters 17 and 18. Again, we are covering ground that has already been covered. And in some cases, we're covering ground that I'm not sure should be covered.The lessons I've learned in Chapter 17 are:Kill people who deconvert or follow other gods.Don't sacrifice animals with blemishes.When being judged by a priest, I must follow his judgment and if not I will be

2010-03-10T11:00:00.000-08:00

Deuteronomy Chapter 16 - In this chapter we are reminded about some of the special holy days set aside by the ancient Israelites. In particular, there are three great festivals in which Jews and Israelites should meet at the temple and celebrate.The Feast of Unleavened Bread is celebrated during the month of Abib, which is a month in the Hebrew calendar. It's to remind the Israelites about

2010-03-02T10:59:00.000-08:00

Deuteronomy Chapter 15 tackles the troubling issue of poverty and slavery. I think it has some nice things to say about poverty. 15:7 says, "If there be among you a poor man ... thou shalt not harden thine heart, nor shut thine hand from thy poor brother."And 15:11 says, (15:11)"Thou shalt open thine hand wide unto thy brother, to thy poor, and to thy needy."Yes. That's great advice! It still

2010-02-22T10:31:00.000-08:00

Dennis,Click here Out of sheer coincidence, nonstampcollector just put this up today and describes what I'm trying to explain to you in cohesive manner.

2010-02-22T08:32:00.000-08:00

Deuteronomy, Chapter 14 is instructions on how to create an ancient Israelite restaurant.But first - a bit on how restaurant staff should look. Sorry emo people, God doesn't want you to cut yourself. And you guys and gals with uni-brows, you can't shave them! And you DEFINITELY can't do neither for the recently deceased! Another important distinction to make about the Bible is to not take its

2010-02-12T08:56:00.000-08:00

"If there arise among you a prophet, or a dreamer of dreams, and giveth thee a sign or a wonder ... that prophet, or that dreamer of dreams, shall be put to death." Deuteronomy 13:1-5Under this law alone, many people would have been put to death. John Lennon, Spinoza, Isaac Newton, Moses, Jesus ... all guilty of being either a prophets and dreamers if judged from the eyes of the ancient

2010-02-03T08:58:00.000-08:00

Destroying AltarsOkay, I was a bit misleading last time. Yahweh doesn't ask the Israelites to drink the blood of animals, rather he asks them to a) sacrifice an animal, b) pour the blood out all over the altar, and then c) eat the flesh. Satan probably wasn't invented yet, but Satanists (the devil worshipping kind, not the 'atheist' kind) today might recognize the ritual as one of their own.Moses

2010-01-29T15:04:00.000-08:00

Hindsight is 20/20, and if I was in the crowd whom Moses is talking to in Deuteronomy 11, and knew what I know now, I'd have to call Moses out on his b.s. Of course, I'd probably be stoned for blasphemy, too.Chapter 11 is basically an appeal to the Israelites, and it can be summed up real quick. Follow these commandments that I give you; and you will be blessed. Don't follow them; your life is

2010-01-24T07:14:00.001-08:00

You can Digg my blog, but can you get your Facebook out of Myspace, You ... TUBE!

2010-01-22T08:50:00.000-08:00

I've mentioned before that Deuteronomy is a collection of sermons from Moses to the Israelites.Deuteronomy, Chapter 8 is a reminder to the Israelites that if they forget Yahweh for what He has helped them achieve, then He will chastize them.As the closing sentences say, "And it shall be, if thou do at all forget the LORD thy God, and walk after other gods, and serve them, and worship them, I

2010-01-12T08:33:00.000-08:00

Above: Hey, they were only doing what they thought God wanted them to do.I like Deuteronomy, Chapter 7. There's so many things wrong with it - historically, intellectually, and ethically. There's even a little bit of prophecy in there.Yahweh's prophecies were that 1) the Israelites will conquer seven great nations (Canaanites, Amorites, etc.), and 2) that the Israelites (and their cattle!) will

2010-01-04T08:36:00.000-08:00

Above: An image from www.thebricktestament.com, a young man posts the Law on his gates to keep the Law strong in Israelite society.After going over the Second Commandment in Chapter 4, Moses reviews all of the Commandments in Chapter 5, and then in Chapter 6 he talks about how to keep the law going. This is basically what Deuteronomy seems to be: a series of sermons from Moses to the Israelites.

2009-12-22T09:51:00.000-08:00

If the Commandments were in order of importance, this would be the second most immoral thing you could do.Deuteronomy, Chapter 4 - once again Yahweh brings up the Second Commandment. "When thou ... make a graven image, or the likeness of any thing, and do evil in the sight of the Lord, you shall perish upon the land and be utterly destroyed."I'm trying to understand this irrational paranoia

2009-12-15T08:45:00.000-08:00

In Deuteronomy, Chapter 3, Moses and his band of Israelites take on yet ANOTHER giant! This time, he's the king of the Bashanites; a man named Og.While his name sounds like he's nothing more than a primitive caveman, and his nation sounds like a violent gang (the Bashingites?), Og is apparently the last of the race of giants. I think that's the Israelite priests' gimmick; portray Moses as the

2009-12-10T16:07:00.000-08:00

Above: A giant from Greek mythology, the Cyclops. Isn't it likely that giants were a regular subject in ALL ancient mythology?Well, let me just say that I'm very excited to be finishing up the Pentateuch. As I started reading the first two chapters of Deuteronomy I noticed that this book seems to be written more as a letter to the Israelite people, from Moses, and basically just recounting what

2009-12-01T08:46:00.000-08:00

I'm finally going to finish Numbers here. I've been at this book for what seems like months. After all the huffing and puffing, animal sacrifices and censuses, the Israelites send 12,000 men to battle against the Midianites. The Midianites are obliterated, and every Midianite male is killed.The Israelites take the Midianites' livestock and goods, and bring the surviving women and children to

2009-11-25T08:17:00.000-08:00

A Phoenician statue of one of the Ba'al's. Looks kind of dorky.Numbers, Chapter 25: Right off the bat, 24,000 Israelites die of a horrible plague. And all this after we've been talking about talking donkeys and the conquests of other nations! What happened?Well, if you've been following this blog or are familiar with the Old Testament, we all know how Yahweh is. He's jealous, He's psychotic, and

2009-11-17T09:17:00.000-08:00

Last time, we discussed the Israelites conquest of the Amorites - which was more like bloody massacre. Numbers, Chapter 22 is about the Moabites. After witnessing the aftermath of what the Israelites have done, the Moabites are understandably afraid of these new people who have come from Egypt. In response, the Moabites sent a delegation of princes to the nearby land of Pethor, to enlist the help

2009-11-10T08:56:00.000-08:00

Massacres and maladies in the service of the Lord. That's what Numbers Chapter 21 is all about. An apologist might argue that this chapter is about the great things that can happen if you put your trust in Yahweh.In a nutshell, what happens is the Aradites find out that the Israelites are coming. An ancient Paul Revere must have ridden through the town, saying, "The Israelites are coming! The

2009-11-03T08:29:00.000-08:00

The Israelites discover an interesting way to qwell a rebellion: give 'em what they want.A few significant things happen in Numbers, Chapter 20. Miriam dies, Aaron dies, another rebellion occurs, and the Kingdom of Edom refuse to give the Israelites passage through their kingdom.To sum it up, on the way to the land of milk and honey (aka "the Promised Land"), the Israelites have pass through the

2009-10-30T10:54:00.000-07:00

I'm going to skip Chapter 17, it's basically about rules, rods and magic tricks. In fact, I'm starting to get a sneaky suspicion that's what the the Bible's really all about, if you take into account all the possible puns and implications. One interesting thing about Chapter 17 - God threatens to kill people who murmer.In Chapter 18, the most important thing is that God says that only the Levites

2009-10-26T13:42:00.000-07:00

Religion is a failed science. It is, depending on the religion, either a 1300-year-old conversation explaining the universe (Islam), or a 2000-year-old conversation (Christianity), or even older (every other major religion). Judeo-Christian religion in particular is a scientific claim about the natural world (it was created in six days), and about morality (i.e. we get morality from the Bible).I