A nonbeliever's SECOND reading of the Bible

A nonbeliever's SECOND reading of the Bible
Hunc tu caveto.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Samson's Big Finale (Judges Chapter 16) - I like how Chapter 16 opens up; Samson finds a harlot and goes in unto her.  This guy's a friggin' rock star!  He then wakes up at midnight, grabs the city gates and the two posts and takes them to the top of a hill.  WTF!!!  And the Bible says nothing as to why he did that.

Well anyways, he winds up falling in love with some chick named Delilah, who seems like a sleeper agent for the Philistines.  She asks him three times what the secret of his strength is, and three times he lies to her.  And each time she reported to the Philistines about his weakness, they lay in ambush waiting to subdue him, expecting him to be weak.  Of course, Samson escaped or otherwise defeated the Philistines.

Then, on the fourth time she pleads.  "Don't you love me?  You lied to me and mocked me three times.  If you truly love me, then you'll tell me what the secret to your strength is."

Samson, who is probably more brawn then brains, actually tells her.  At this point, I'm yelling at the Bible.  Come on!  Can he really be that stupid?  But stupid me, it's just a friggin' story.

So, the Philistines finally capture Samson, take out his eyes, and tie him up between two pillars that happen to be supporting the tent wherein thousands of Philistines are praising his capture.  Samson prays to Yahweh for help to avenge the loss of his eyes. Then, with mighty tug, the two pillars topple over and the whole thing collapses on the Philistines and himself, creating the prototype for the first pre-explosive suicide bombing.

The chapter ends by saying that in death, Samson slew more Philistines then in life.

Partially Informed Chapter Rating Rating the Scripture on a scale of 10 (10 being highest)

Action: I'm giving this chapter a "9" because it is action packed.  Samson is truly an action hero.

Cohesion: I'm giving this chapter a "3" because while I understand the story, I can't help but think Samson is a complete idiot.  Why, after successfully showing that Delilah was basically an agent for the enemy, would he stoop to telling her his secret?

Morality:  A "3".  Not only does he start off sleeping with whores and playing pranks, but he lies three times (which was actually a good thing) and then tells the truth (which was actually a bad thing), and then slaughters wholesale perhaps thousands of Philistines, most of whom were innocent.

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