A nonbeliever's SECOND reading of the Bible

A nonbeliever's SECOND reading of the Bible
Hunc tu caveto.

Wednesday, August 05, 2009





Wow, I've been getting pretty busy lately so I'm going to limit my readings until everything smooths out again.

I think I'm going to focus more on some problems, especially with the last plague - the killing of the firstborn.

"The firstborn of the Pharoah to the firstborn of the slave woman at the mill, and the firstborn of all the livestock," to be exact.

Come on, man. Who the hell would kill off kids because one dude is an @$$hole? Most of the kids aren't even his kids. And the livestock??? A few plagues ago all the livestock were dead, and now this plague is acting like there's still a few firstborns out there.

But more interesting, God has the Israelites perform some sort of witchcraft ritual to make sure that THEIR kids are fine. The Creator of the Universe tells Moses that the Israelites must slaughter an animal without blemish at twilight; and it must be a one-year-old male goat or sheep.

Did you catch that? In the Bible, "Without blemish" equals "young male". It's kind of subliminal, but we see Yahweh's sexism. It's no secret that women are viewed as being, for a lack of a better word, filthy, in the Bible. For some reason, males are seen as clean.

And what does age have to do with animal's cleanliness? Animals are not moral agents. We don't hold them to the same standard as we do other humans, at least. Humans start doing bad things before they are 10, but animals will never be expected to uphold our laws. We give lions leeway when they kill another animal. Sharks, too. While we might kill animals that kill humans, we don't kill the animal because it's being immoral; we kill it because it is dangerous.

After each household slaughters a young goat or sheep, the Israelites have to paint its blood around the door of the house, and then roast and eat the entire thing - heads, bones, entrails, everything. Even the Rocky Mountain Oysters.

Oddly enough, God even has special instructions on "how" to eat the animal. They have to wear a special outfit. The Israelites must eat the animal wearing a belt around his waste, sandals on his feet, and a staff in his hand.

So, like a smart bomb God swoops down into Egypt and kills out a very select group of people. Except, rather than kill the leaders or a group of bad guys hunkered down in a bunker, God kills specifically the first-born, kids and otherwise innocent people. Even the criminal who was a first-born, but was in prison at the time died. Ironically, he was innocent!

I wonder what would've happened if God just killed the leaders of Egypt?

Anyways, the plan had its intended effect, to persuade the Pharoah into letting the Israelites go.

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