Who wrote 1st Samuel, Chapter 31?

Saul falls upon his own sword in this book (1st Samuel).  Stay tuned to see how he dies in 2nd Samuel!

(1 Samuel, Chapter 31) In this final chapter of 1st Samuel, the numerically superior Philistines do battle with their old enemies the Israelites, of whom King Saul is their commander.

According to the book, the battle was very one-sided in the favor of the Philistines.  King Saul took numerous arrows and asked his armor bearer to go ahead and kill him, but he would not.  So, Saul took a sword and fell upon it, thereby killing him.  Pay attention to this detail, because the first chapter of the next book (2nd Samuel), we find a different story of Saul's death.

Anyhow, I still think that the authors of the book chose to end it like this.  I'm not sure how historical this story is and how mythical it is.  None the less, I would have to say that it was written very weird.  The redundancies and the seeming inability of characters to act on what happened in previous chapters, give the impression that 1st Samuel had multiple authors, or multiple manuscripts, which were later just cobbled together.

Who wrote 1st Samuel?  Tradition says that Samuel was the one wrote it, but like Moses and the Pentateuch, Samuel's character dies in this book. He dies specifically in Chapter 25.  Another theory is that multiple 'prophets', including Samuel, had a hand in its authorship.  The other two prophets listed as contributors to 1st Samuel are Gad and Nathan.  

More than likely, this book did have numerous authors and also utilized court records and documents from the Israelite nation.  

King Saul Resorts to Summoning Spirits (1 Samuel, Chapter 28)

After God abandons him, King Saul asks a witch to summon 

the spirit of the recently deceased Samuel.

1 Samuel, Chapter 28.  This chapter is actually highly entertaining.  The Philistines have raised a giant army against King Saul and the Israelites, and Saul fears for his life.  He tries to contact Yahweh (aka 'God') but Yahweh is no longer with him, and thus no longer communicated with him.  As the chapter says, "... the Lord answered him not, neither by dreams, nor by Urim."

Remember the Urim?  It was a contraption that was set into a magical vest that helped divine messages from God (or revelations).  Well, the Urim wasn't working and Saul was getting desperate.  So, he resorts to witchcraft - which is possibly an even bigger no-no than what Saul did wrong in the first place.  If you remember, the reason why Saul's on Yahweh's shit list is because he failed to kill ALL of the Amelekites.

Saul requests of the which to summon the spirit of the recently deceased Prophet Samuel (whom this book is named after).  Saul's reason for speaking with Samuel is because Samuel was very close to Yahweh.  Well, the witch was able to summon a spirit who answered to the name of Samuel, but the spirit did not give Saul comforting advice.  Also of interest, while she was summoning the spirit of Samuel, she reported to Saul that she saw gods ascending from the earth.


Samuel basically said, "Yea buddy, because of your little stunt sparing the lives of those Amelekites, Yahweh's basically going to hand you and all the Israelites over to the Philistines.  But don't worry, you and all your family will be hanging out with me in the land of the dead by this time tomorrow."


Needless to say, this panicked Saul quite a bit.


While this was a sad chapter for Saul, there are a few interesting things we can take from this chapter.  First, we can delve into the minds of the ancient Israelites and learn about how they divined information from their god(s).  Secondly, the Israelite conception of a god is very different than the modern interpretation.  They didn't believe in one god; they believed in many.  This is evident from the witch's comment, "I saw gods ascending from the earth."


Even though she was a witch, the author and the ancient Israelites believed that though there were many gods; Yahweh was the most important of them.  They were very much like a cult of Yahweh.  It is from this belief of worshiping one god only instead of the others which monotheism would later evolve.

David tricks King Saul again (1 Samuel Chapter 26)

David steals the king's spear and water flask, then climbs a mountain to show everyone.  

From Eternity Matters Blog

This odd relationship between King Saul and David is very odd.  I thought they had made amends a few chapters ago, but I guess Saul just has it in his heart to kill or capture David.  He's kind of like Wile E. Coyote.

This time, Saul takes 3,000 Israelite soldiers with him to look for David in the Wilderness of Zith.  While camping out for the night, David sneaks into their camp and steals Saul's spear and his water flask.  After taking these he flees up a mountain and the next morning he yells out so that everyone below can hear.

Basically, David asks, "Why do you keep following me?"  Saul, who doesn't really have a good answer, eventually relents and decides to let David get away.  David returns the stolen goods, and they both part ways.

So what's up with Saul?  After David spared Saul's life previously, it really seemed he was going to forgive David.  But now he comes back?  It's just one of those bugs that we can't get rid of.  Ever get that way?  Have you ever had a task that if it isn't completed, you're day will be ruined?  Or, have you ever tried to do something but the entire universe seems focused on making you fail?

Maybe Saul's desire to get David is kind of like that.  The whole purpose of capturing David is lost, but it's an incomplete mission that can not be accomplished.  Maybe Saul's real lesson here is to know when to give up.  After all, in this case the Creator of the Universe (according to Judeo-Christians) seems hellbent on preventing the capture of David.

Even though Saul promises that he will not try to harm David anymore, do you think he will keep his promise?  Stay tuned, and we'll find out together.

A Confrontation Between David and Saul (1 Samuel Chapter 24)

David shows King Saul that he cuts the hem of his cloak.

From outsetministry.org

After chasing down the Philistines, King Saul returns to hunt down David.  While in the wilderness, Saul decides to go inside a cave.  Unbeknownst to him, David and his men were actually hiding out in this very same cave.

So, David basically has Saul by the balls here.  He can easily take him out if he wanted to.  However, David something interesting.  Instead of killing the king, he takes his sword and secretly cuts a piece of his robe off.  King Saul is unaware that this happens, and after some time walks out of the cave.

In the daylight, David follows and calls out to Saul, pointing out that he could have taken his life but instead cut his cloak.  Saul is touched by this show of mercy, and admits that David is the one who has been anointed by God and that he will be king.

Facing this inevitability, Saul asks David to have mercy on his bloodline and to let his descendants live, which David agrees to.

Again, we are faced with the strange mentality of these people.  Rather than put them down for it, it's interesting to see it from their eyes, as there are still people out there today who have similar ideas about how the world is organized.

David's show of mercy is great, and Saul's acceptance of David is even better.  But just the thought that one's descendants are at risk from an up and coming king is a strange artifact of the mentality of monarchies.  Eventually, Saul's descendants may very well have a claim to the throne.

David is young and has not been groomed for royalty, so he's probably naive to this point.  So, David doesn't care about that and agrees to Saul's terms.  After all, David is Yahweh's "anointed one", right?  What's the worse that could happen?

David Hides from King Saul (1 Samuel Chapter 23)

Wilderness in Judah.  David hid from Saul in a place that probably didn't look too different.  From BiblePlaces.com

David is still hiding from Saul.  While hanging out in the wilderness with his men, David is informed that the Philistines have began an assault on the town of Keilah.

David asks Yahweh (God) about what he should do, and Yahweh says to attack him.  So he informs the men to get ready, but they are apparently scared.  Once again, David asks Yahweh for clarification, and Yahweh basically says, "Yes!  Get up and smite those mofos, you're wasting time!  I got your back, bro.  I'm freakin' Yahweh!"

Once God made it abundantly clear, David and takes his men and sure enough wreak havoc upon the ranks of the Philistines, and they save the town of Keilah.

Well, King Saul heard about David's whereabouts and immediately set upon the town Keilah.  Before Saul's troops can get there, David manages to escape into the Wilderness of Maon.

Within the wilderness David basically evades King Saul until finally those troublesome Philistines mount another attack elsewhere, which prompts King Saul to deal with the new threat rather than find his old rival David.

Reading this chapter, I'm loaded with the questions.  Why doesn't Yahweh just end this drama?  Conventionally, Yahweh is the God of the Universe.  However, I get the sense in this chapter that He was more like a finite, yet still powerful deity, like something from the Greek pantheon.  With His affinity for war, I'm almost tempted to say He's on par with Ares, the Greek god of war.

This fits idea of a finite yet still powerful god best fits with the behavior I'm reading about.  Yahweh doesn't have much control, He seems to be filled with petty emotions, and He even deceives humans.

Contrarily, I would imagine an all-powerful being who cares about His creation wouldn't be obsessed with the death of other tribes, and of course the weird fascination He seems to have with sex.

David and Jonathan Kiss Each Other Goodbye (1 Samuel, Chapter 20)

Again, this relationship between Jonathan and David seems a lot closer than the standard friendship.  There's nothing with that, of course.  And, it's vague enough and ancient enough in context to forgive their kissing and hugging and standing around naked with each other.

However, I've been hearing from apologists, who always make me roll my eyes, that there's no way that these two are gay.  I'm still on the fence on this, but I can't dismiss it as easily as they can, ESPECIALLY after reading this chapter!  Once again, I personally don't care if they're gay.  The only thing that's wrong about them being gay is the context behind the book (The Bible) which I'm reading it, which seems to readily condemn gays.

King Saul, the father of Jonathan, seems to know what's going on between his son and David.  Whether he suspects his son Jonathan of being gay, or perhaps just being more sympathetic to David instead of his own father's crown is not clear.  But when Saul confronts Jonathan, he says this: "You son of a perverse, rebellious woman!  I know you've chosen [David] to your own confusion, and unto the confusion of your mother's nakedness!"

Wow!

You'd almost think Saul caught the two guys making out.

But no, for the record the Bible doesn't state explicitly the nature of their relationship.  It says they love each other, it says they held hands, hugged, kissed, stood around naked, etc.  But it never says they're gay.

Well, Jonathan gets the hint that his dad (King Saul) wants to kill David.  So, he runs to David and tells him.  They even do a gay little pre-planned ritual where David is waiting in a field, Jonathan shoots three arrows and sends a boy to fetch them.  If the "the arrows are to the side" of the boy, David (who is looking on from a hiding spot), will see it as King Saul being cool with David. If, on the other hand, "the arrows are beyond" the boy, David will see that king intends to kill him.  

Yes, I know.  This isn't "gay" behavior.  They're not doing anything explicitly homosexual.  I mean it's "gay" because it's just over-the-top and a little dramatic.

When the time comes to shoot the arrows, the message is obviously that the arrows are beyond.  Jonathan shoots an arrow beyond the boy.  After seeing this, and after the unknowing participant (the boy) leaves, David comes out of hiding and embraces Jonathan.

This is essentially their final goodbye (I think), because David must flee.  They hug, they cry, and they kiss each other farewell.

The Continuing Power Struggle Between David and Saul (1 Samuel Chapter 19)

David and Jonathan chat while chilling on a rock.  Image from LookandLearn.org

King Saul, who still does not know that Yahweh (aka God) doesn't want him to be king anymore, is still squabbling with the young David, who seems to have attracted Yahweh's favor.

In this chapter, Saul reveals some of his nefarious plans to his son Jonathan.  But, as we read in the last chapter, Jonathan seems to have, at the very least, a mancrush on David.  It may even be more, but I won't go there.  He listens to his father's plans, and then defends David, even to the point of making the king swear that he won't kill David because David never did anything against him personally.

This suffices for a while, until war breaks out with the Philistines again and David annihilates them, which just makes Saul look bad again.  Saul is becoming such a dark figure that he's actually portrayed sitting down with a javelin in his hand; possessed by "the evil spirit from the Lord."  He actually tries to kill David himself, but David escapes and a pissed off Saul throws the javelin at a wall.

Saul is really starting to get jealous now, and decides to send assassins.  The Bible calls them "messengers", but they were specifically sent to observe David and then kill him.  So, I think "assassins" is a better word here.  Though, to be exact these were unusually polite assassins.  They actually went to the door of the house and said something to the effect, "Hi, may I see David so we can slay him?"

The people of the house helped David escape, and the assassins were perplexed that David's friends helped him escape.  Well, this hit was getting a little tricky for the friendly assassins.

David escaped to Samuel, whom the book is named after.  Samuel, if you've been following me, is a prophet.  When the assassins saw the prophets prophesying as if they were appointing David, the assassins also realized the err of their ways and also began prophesying, returning to Saul and telling him what transpired.

Two more times Saul sends "messengers" and each time they return prophesying.  All this prophesying seems to get Saul all worked up, because he then takes off all his clothes and lays down all day and night, and prophesies himself.  The chapter ends here, but I smell a resolution to the power struggle coming soon. 

Possible Gay Couple in the Old Testament! (1 Samuel, Chapter 18)

Jonathan and David

There may not have been an Adam and Steve, but there was a Jonathan and Dave.  Chapter 18 opens up with the understandably little known story of Jonathan and David, and it reads like they were gay lovers of the type found in Athenian or Carthaginian soldiers, like the Sacred Band of Thebes.

Now, I'm sure there's plenty of apologetics out there trying to explain this away, so here's the facts, not the spin.  18:1 says that their souls were knit together.18:3 says David loved Jonathan as his own soul.  18:4 says Jonathan took off all his clothes and armor and gave it to David.

It's ambiguous and the point can be argued either way, but it is at least suspicious to the average reader, which I purport myself to be.  I'm just reading the Bible again just to make sure I didn't miss anything.  This second time around is obviously a lot more engaged then previous times.

Also in this chapter, Saul, who I guess has not been told yet that he's not the king that Yahweh (God) wants, is becoming jealous of David.  Apparently, they start a contest on who can kill the most people in the name of God.  This is like the wet dream of the most religious people alive today!

King Saul engages in a little bit of deception.  Saul saw that David was enamored with his daughter, and figured that giving her to David would calm him down.  Saul said David can have his daughter (named Michal), and he didn't need a dowry.  However, he did want 100 Philistine foreskins.

Think about that.

A lot of people give their wife a wedding ring, in some cultures the groom is expected to give the family money or gifts (a dowry), but in this case David is asked to bring 100 FORESKINS!

Well, David wanted Michal so bad that he went and killed 200 Philistines, and brought back 200 foreskins.  Piles of foreskins seems to be a fairly common thing in the Old Testament!   Paying 200 foreskins for a bride is a rather odd price, and it's also very weird.  That's why I find it interesting that this story isn't as well-known as it ought to be.

It almost seems like our own modern morality causes Bible readers to ignore these passages.  Not me.  I find these passages immensely interesting, and at the same time it just cements my personal belief that Bible is not a guide to morality, but "empty bleatings of a barbaric tribe", as Christopher Hitchens might put it.

David Slays Goliath (1 Samuel, Chapter 17)

David slays Goliath.  From kingjamesbibleonline.org

Perhaps one of the most well-known stories of the Bible is about young David killing the giant Philistine champion named Goliath.  

Prior to David's encounter with Goliath, the Israelites and the Philistines have been battling it out for at least 40 days near the Valley of Elah, in a place called Ephesdammin. During each of those days, the 10-foot tall Goliath would start off the day taunting the Israelites, saying that if one of them can defeat him, then the Philistines will be their servants; and vice versa.  No one took him up on this offer.

David wanted to take him up on this opportunity, but he was young and he wasn't part of the Israelite army.  But after hearing about these taunts, David approached Saul (who still thinks he is king) and tells him that as a shepherd, he killed a lion AND a bear at the same time when they took one of his father's lambs.  He even saved the lamb by taking it out of the lion's mouth.  

This story deserves a little attention.  After all, it is highly unlikely that both a lion AND a bear would ever cooperate to take a lamb from a flock.

But this story was meant to convince Saul that he (David) can easily take on Goliath.  Apparently, Saul was convinced!  He offered David his sword and some armor, but David refused and instead chose five smooth stones by a nearby river and his sling.

When Goliath sees David approaching him, he laughs.  After all, David just a youth.   Goliath had a huge sword, a brass helmet, and some heavy mail.  So, Goliath was well armed and armored.  David, on the other hand, just had his robe, a wooden staff, a sling, and some rocks.  David was not put off at all, he said a few choice insults, calmly grabbed a stone from his bag, and then slung it at Goliath.  

Too bad this story is probably not real, because the one shot, one kill with a measly sling would make any sniper proud.  The stone embedded itself into Goliath's head, who then fell face down.  David took Goliath's sword and cut off his head.

The sight of this scared the bejesus out of the Philistines, who turned tail and ran.  The Israelites seized the opportunity and pursued the routing army.  

Needless to say, Saul was thoroughly impressed by David's performance.

Yahweh Chooses A New King (1 Samuel, Chapter 16)

Samuel anoints David.  Image from Wikipedia  

Chapter 16 is an interesting chapter.  It's about how Yahweh (God) chooses a new king, largely because the previous king (Saul) did not kill everyone and everything as he was commanded.  This chapter has some contradictions and just overall foolishness.

It starts with God asking Samuel how long he's going to mourn over the loss of Saul as king, because God has someone else in mind and would like to get moving on this new project.  God's idea is to get one of "Jesse's" sons.  I'm not sure who Jesse is.  The author of this chapter must be one of those people who brings up people's names in conversations whom the listener doesn't know but is expected to know.  

Samuel is worried because if he tells Saul that he is no longer king, then Saul might just kill Samuel.  So, God comes up with a clever plan.  First, the "spirit" of God left Saul, and God instead replaces this spirit with an "evil spirit."  The spirit of God had went into David after Samuel anointed him a little earlier in the chapter.

Later, Saul (who apparently hasn't been told yet that he's no longer king) is sitting around his court with an evil spirit inside him, and decides that he wants a musician.  He hears that Jesse's son David is a great harp player, and that God is with him too. Oh, the irony!  He doesn't realize that the God is LITERALLY with David!

So, David shows up and plays harp for Saul.  While David is playing the "evil spirit from God" LEAVES Saul because of David's astounding harp playing.  Saul absolutely loves David, and becomes an instant fan. 

The chapter ends here, but the contradiction is that here we see that Saul knows who David is.  But, in the next chapter, Saul completely forgets who David is!  It's things like this why scholars over the years think that each book of the Bible may have multiple authors, who were using other texts that said slightly different things.  In this case, it's like watching Metallica play and then falling in love with their music, but shortly afterward completely forgetting who they are.

Samuel Shows Off (1 Samuel, Chapter 12)

Samuel, the guy who with the help of Yahweh crowned the Israelites' first king, goes out to the people and tells them what's up.

"I heard your voice and have made a king for you.  He walks among you today.  Tell me, is there any among you who can say I stole from them, lied to them, or received a bribe?  Anyone?," taunted Sam. (12:1)

Of course, I think that if this story is true there was probably quite a bit of deception going on, as this is basically Samuel playing politics.  He's going to make an argument saying that God (Yahweh) is on his side.  This is where religion meets politics. 

The Israelites, the Bronze Age superstitious tribesmen that they were, had no reason to think that Samuel was lying, so they reply, "No, you haven't lied to us or deceived us!"

I like to imagine Samuel doing flourishes with his hands, like a televangelist, when he recounts how Yahweh led their people out of Egypt, and the early history of the Israelites, with their various eras of slavery and liberation, and all the times that Yahweh killed even them when they chose not to believe.

He's essentially saying that Yahweh brought them to where they are today.

"Behold the king you have chosen, and whom you have desired!  Behold, God has given you a king!" exclaimed Samuel!" exclaimed Samuel, probably to the roar of a crowd.

"If you obey His (Yahweh's) commandments, then you and the king's reign shall continue.  But, if you don't ... you know what happens, and what has happened in the past!" (12:5-15)

Of course, it doesn't say it, and I'm not sure how historical this story is, but if it is indeed a historical account and some scribe was writing down everything Samuel was saying, this next part is pretty cool.


Storm clouds were probably coming their way, and any good shaman could use it as a way to emphasize their message.  "Now see this - today is harvest day, is it not?  I will call upon God, and He will send thunder and rain, so that you will see that by asking for a king, you've actually done a wicked thing."  (12:16)

Samuel "called" upon Yahweh and sure enough, thunder and rain happened; and the people were scared of both Yahweh and Samuel.

"Follow Yahweh, your God, and live; but if you should falter in your faith, both you AND your king will be consumed," concluded Samuel. (12:19-24)

These quotes attributed to Samuel aren't verbatim of course, I'm reading a King James version, but this is basically what is being said.

Yahweh Chooses Saul As King of the Israelites (1 Samuel, Chapter 9)

In Chapter 9, a young man named Saul is introduced.  He's tall, handsome, and "goodly".  In fact, he's the "goodliest" man of all the Benjamites.  One day he was sent, along with a servant, to look for his father's donkeys, and he went all over the land looking for those damned donkeys, too!

Finally, as fate would have it, he happened upon the city in which Samuel (the current judge) was waiting for him.  The night before, Yahweh (God) told Samuel that around this time tomorrow the man who He chose to be king of the Israelites would appear. 

So, from the humble origins of a man looking for his dad's donkeys, Saul stumbles into quite a conundrum.  He finds the donkeys at least, because they were apparently found by Samuel.  Saul was surprised by all the special treatment he was receiving, for he was a member of the smallest of the Israelite tribes, and was of fairly simple origins. 

The chapter ends in cliffhanger fashion with Samuel just about to break the news to Saul.  After some fine dining, Samuel tells Saul: "Ask your servant to leave (and the servant leaves) and stand still for awhile, for I am going to show you the Word of God."

Israelites Demand a King (1 Samuel, Chapter 8)

King Saul, from Wikimedia Commons

While Samuel was a good judge, his two sons were apparently a couple of crooks; caring mostly about money, taking bribes, and having bad judgment in general.  So, the Israelites didn't want these two guys running the show.  Instead, they wanted to have a king to judge them.

Samuel was a little butthurt about this and consulted old Yahweh.  Yahweh said by wanting a king, they are rejecting Me, and this is made most abundantly clear by the fact that they are still worshiping other gods!  

Yes, the Israelites are still worshiping other gods!  It's almost like this one isn't obvious enough for them.

Yahweh instructs Samuel to let the people know what a king entails, and Samuel does as he is told.

Sammy boy let's the Israelites know that a king will take all their firstborn sons and use them to ride his chariots in battle, or as foot soldiers; and that a tenth of everything they own will belong to the king.

The Israelites didn't mind that all, and still wanted to have a king to rule over them.  Samuel reports this to the Creator of the Universe, and so He instructs Samuel to appoint a king.  The chapter ends with Samuel calling out to the men of the city, "Go ye every man unto his city."