Deuteronomy 32: Is God Bipolar?- If Yahweh had a psychologist to evaluate Him, it's pretty clear that He'd be diagnosed with a severe case of bipolar disorder.  This is of course bad news to His followers.

Chapter 32 starts off nice, Moses talking about how great Yahweh is and how perfect His work is.  And then, with almost no transition, it sinks into the macabre.  Literally, here's the transition:

32:4 He is the Rock, his work is perfect: for all his ways are judgment: a God of truth and without iniquity, just and right is he.
32:5 They have corrupted themselves, their spot is not the spot of his children: they are a perverse and crooked generation.

And it goes downhill from there - burning and starving for everyone, including elderly and children.

What I want to know is - where does perception of a loving God come from?  I mean I see that the Israelites loved Yahweh - well, some of them did.  And Yahweh sometimes shows love - but it's a love that's built on conditions.  It's not really "love" as we understand it.  And it's built on the most ridiculous of conditions - "Believe in me and follow my laws, or else!"

As Deuteronomy, and therefore the Pentateuch, come to a close, I yearn for the great wisdom of the Bible.  I haven't seen much evidence for it yet.  Deuteronomy especially is just the same thing, over and over:  "God is wonderful, but since you guys suck He's going to make your life really shitty!"

Deuteronomy 24 is fun, because it is weird.  There is no unifying message behind this chapter, except maybe advice on how to resolve disputes.  I think.

1.  The first lesson is about divorce and remarriage.  If the man doesn't like her for some "unclean" reason, he can divorce her and then she can remarry.  But if the second husband doesn't like her for some "unclean" reason, then the first husband CANNOT take her back.  I wonder what situation occurred where such a rule should ever even be addressed?

2.  The second lesson is that a newly wed man can not go to war or be bothered with business matters.  He has to spend the whole year trying to make his wife happy.

3.  Anyone who steals slaves should be executed.

4.  Do what the priests tell you to do, or you'll get leprosy.  That's an awesome rule, and such a guilt trip!

5.  Don't oppress the poor, whether they be slaves or just poor.  That's actually a decent rule!

6.  You shouldn't kill the father for the crimes of the child, and vice versa.  This is such a good rule, but it contradicts other Biblical teachings that the criminal's progeny should be punished.  That's the whole concept of original sin, isn't it?

7.  Finally, the last rule is to treat kindly strangers, orphans, and widows; and share whatever you have with them.  Another nice thing to practice.

In summary, we went from divorce and marriage; to treating strangers kindly.  And there isn't a real thread of unity between the two subjects.  I think that this document was an attempt to legislate random occurrences that just happened.  But the solutions are so arbitrary and don't really solve the problem, or are just completely ignorant.

Deuteronomy's Chapters 19 through 21 deal with what sort of killing is okay in the eyes of Yahweh.

Dealing with the Difference Between Murder and ManSlaughter

Chapter 19 is a sort of amendment to the Sixth Commandment: Thou shalt not murder.

First, anyone that kills his neighbor should be executed. Specifically, he ought to be killed by the victim's closest relative, whom the ancient Hebrews called 'the avenger of the blood'.

If he accidentally kills someone, then the accidental killer must flee to another city. But, if he returns to the city where the victim lived, then the 'avenger of the blood' may kill the guy.

However, before determining this there should also be three witnesses.

Killing in the Context of War

Deuteronomy, Chapter 20, if I can sum it up, says that first of all the Hebrews should not be afraid in battle because Yahweh has their back.

The chapter makes a distinction between two types of foes: distant enemies that are too far to be conquered, and nearby enemies that can be incorporated into the Israelite nation. Upon defeating distant opponents, Israelites should slay all the males but take for themselves all the cattle, children, and women for themselves.

But closeby cities, which Yahweh has essentially given to the Israelites, are to be utterly destroyed. Yahweh instructs the Israelites to kill all the lame, sickly, and elderly people; but to take young women and children.

In fact, as Chapter 21 explicitly says, if you find a beautiful woman among the captives, take her into your house, shave her head, let her mourn her dead parents, and then "go in unto her".

An ancient Israelite can even have two wives: "one loved, and one hated."

When Punishment Deserves Death

Chapter 21 even talks about what sort of infractions deserve death.

In particular, any child who is disobedient, and I mean thoroughly disobedient, then he should be taken to outskirts of the village and stoned to death by the villagers.

And if the punishment is hanging, the advice given by the author of Deuteronomy is that the person should be taken down before the end of the day. Apparently, the criminal who was hung is so vile that if he remained on the tree for more than one day, his vileness would contaminate the land.

I just read Deuteronomy, Chapters 17 and 18. Again, we are covering ground that has already been covered. And in some cases, we're covering ground that I'm not sure should be covered.

The lessons I've learned in Chapter 17 are:

1. Kill people who deconvert or follow other gods.
2. Don't sacrifice animals with blemishes.
3. When being judged by a priest, I must follow his judgment and if not I will be executed.
4. When under the power of the king, the king should not have multiple wives.
5. The king should also not have too much money.
   

In Chapter 18, I learn the following:

1. The Levite priests can't own land, and must live off the offerings of the other tribes.
2. Sacrifice the firstfruit of my crops and my livestock.
3. Anyone that practices witchcraft (unless it's magic from Yahweh, of course) is an abomination to Yahweh.

Chapter 18 is also interesting in that there is a prophecy in there: Yahweh says, "I will raise them up a Prophet from among their brethren, like unto thee, and will put my words in his mouth; and he shall speak unto them all that I shall command him."

So, Yahweh plans on sending prophets. He also warns against false prophets. Unfortunately, the only way to tell the difference is if their words come true. And if they don't, they are to be executed.

Being a Prophet is serious business for the ancient Israelites.

Deuteronomy Chapter 16 - In this chapter we are reminded about some of the special holy days set aside by the ancient Israelites. In particular, there are three great festivals in which Jews and Israelites should meet at the temple and celebrate.

The Feast of Unleavened Bread is celebrated during the month of Abib, which is a month in the Hebrew calendar. It's to remind the Israelites about their escape from Egypt. In 16:3 it says that you must eat unleavened bread for seven days; and in 16:8 it says six days, so I'm not sure what that's about.

The Feast of Weeks is meant for the entire community of ancient Israelites, and it is to remind them that their people were once bondsmen of Egypt.

In this chapter, it's not clear what The Feast of Tabernacles is about, but elsewhere on the web it says it's agricultural in origin.

During these festivals, or holidays, the males of the tribe must present themselves before Yahweh, and give a generous donation to the priesthood.

I'm not sure why it's in there, but at the end of the chapter (16:16), it almost sounds like judges and officers are picked during these festivals as well.

It's an interesting chapter and there's nothing too controversial. It's actually interesting to learn about the holidays of other cultures as well.

Deuteronomy Chapter 15 tackles the troubling issue of poverty and slavery. I think it has some nice things to say about poverty.

15:7 says, "If there be among you a poor man ... thou shalt not harden thine heart, nor shut thine hand from thy poor brother."

And 15:11 says, (15:11)"Thou shalt open thine hand wide unto thy brother, to thy poor, and to thy needy."

Yes. That's great advice! It still sounds good to this very day. Would you agree?

And then there's slavery.

15:12-17 says, "If thy brother, an Hebrew man, or an Hebrew woman, be sold unto thee.
and serve thee six years; then in the seventh year thou shalt let him go free from thee. And when thou sendest him out free from thee, thou shalt not let him go away empty: Thou shalt furnish him liberally out of thy flock, and out of thy floor, and out of thy winepress: of that wherewith the LORD thy God hath blessed thee thou shalt give unto him. And thou shalt remember that thou wast a bondman in the land of Egypt, and the LORD thy God redeemed thee: therefore I command thee this thing to day. And it shall be, if he say unto thee, I will not go away from thee; because he loveth thee and thine house, because he is well with thee. Then thou shalt take an aul, and thrust it through his ear unto the door, and he shall be thy servant for ever."

Basically, after a slave's seven year term, hook him up and be generous to him as he parts ways. If he/she wants to stay with you, drill a hole through his ear into a door and he'll be your servant for life.

Judging from a modern-day perspective, more than 2,000 years later, a perspective with the hindsight of the Civil Rights era, the American Civil War, and the various practices of slavery before then; slavery has been a big moral issue for humanity. It's still a big issue today; and the arguments even delve into what is called wage slavery - which is basically what everyone calls "working". Anytime another human's labor is owned, and not purchased in any way, that raises the question of slavery and whether it is moral.

But 3,000 years ago when Deuteronomy was written, nobody in ancient Israelite society had these conversations (or at least published them).

So I ask you, the reader, this: What is it that makes it possible for people today to pick up the Bible, read Deuteronomy Chapter 15, and see that one set of passages are moral, and another set isn't?

"If there arise among you a prophet, or a dreamer of dreams, and giveth thee a sign or a wonder ... that prophet, or that dreamer of dreams, shall be put to death." Deuteronomy 13:1-5

Under this law alone, many people would have been put to death. John Lennon, Spinoza, Isaac Newton, Moses, Jesus ... all guilty of being either a prophets and dreamers if judged from the eyes of the ancient Israelites. Luckily, these eyes are long closed.

Deuteronomy, Chapter 13 is a sermon to the Israelites on the evils of new ideas, aka heresy.

A few verses later (13:6-10) Moses spells it out clearly: ""If thy brother ... or thy son, or thy daughter, or the wife of thy bosom, or thy friend, which is as thine own soul, entice thee secretly, saying, Let us go and serve other gods ... Thou shalt not consent unto him ... neither shall thine eye pity him ... But thou shalt surely kill him; thine hand shall be first upon him to put him to death, and afterwards the hand of all the people."

Today of course, we ignore all of Moses' advice in this chapter, but I must ask you. If the Bible is a manual for morality, what is it that causes us to ignore this verse but find wisdom in a verse like that in Leviticus that says to "Love your neighbor."?

Destroying Altars

Okay, I was a bit misleading last time. Yahweh doesn't ask the Israelites to drink the blood of animals, rather he asks them to a) sacrifice an animal, b) pour the blood out all over the altar, and then c) eat the flesh. Satan probably wasn't invented yet, but Satanists (the devil worshipping kind, not the 'atheist' kind) today might recognize the ritual as one of their own.

Moses also instructs the Israelites to go out and completely destroy the altars and groves of the nations surrounding them. He's basically trying to shore up Yahweh as the only god for the Israelites. This violent backlach against other religions suggests that these other religions were a bit of a problem for the budding Yahwists. It seems feasible at least that at least a few Israelites were a little too interested in the religions of their neighbors, and the political infrastructure of Israelite society wanted to stop this curiosity.

In the words of Moses (Deuteronomy 12:30), "Take heed to thyself that thou be not snared by following them, after that they be destroyed from before thee; and that thou enquire not after their gods, saying, How did these nations serve their gods? even so will I do likewise."

Moses then brings up the human sacrifices of their neighbors as a reason not to follow them. Which is odd, because this is the same society that has no problem executing disobedient sons, women who had sex before their wedding day, and killing the children of the nations they conquer (or should I say, "happily dashes the little ones on the rocks?).

I'm getting this weird picture here. And it goes soundly with the principle that "History is written by the conquerors." The Israelites were a sort of rogue militaristic nation amongst many other similarly cultured Sumerian/Canaanite nations. It was the Israelites who had the strongest drive to go out and conquer their enemies. These other nations didn't put up a very good resistance either.

Some might say it's because Yahweh was on their side. I'd have to disagree. It might've 'seemed' like Yahweh on their side, in the same sense finding an empty parking space in front of Walmart might seem like God reserved it just for you. But I think the Israelites were just a lot more organized then their neighbors. They had a great propaganda machine going on. And they probably had a charismatic leader. Then again, it's also quite likely that a lot of this is early stuff about Israel is legend. Many scholars don't even think Moses was real; but I'm sure that some cult leader was responsible for the upstart religion/nation.

A lot of what is said in the Book of Numbers and most of the Pentateuch isn't supported by archaeology, either. The places might correspond, but the events as they are recorded in the Bible don't match up (like millions of people wandering the wilderness).

Anyways, the Israelites continue to have problems with other religions until the later 'reformist' kings begin their rule. Right now, Deuteronomy is trying to describe a time when the Israelites were just getting a foothold in the region.

Next time, we'll discuss why Yahweh nor the Israelites would not have liked John Lennon much.

Hindsight is 20/20, and if I was in the crowd whom Moses is talking to in Deuteronomy 11, and knew what I know now, I'd have to call Moses out on his b.s. Of course, I'd probably be stoned for blasphemy, too.

Chapter 11 is basically an appeal to the Israelites, and it can be summed up real quick. Follow these commandments that I give you; and you will be blessed. Don't follow them; your life is going to suck.

Even if I'm trying to be sympathetic to these guys in the Old Testament, I can't. It's just so easy to see through their facade. This is really just politics of fear. "If you're not with us; you're against us."

But that's cool, I have read this in the past, but not as critical. Now, as I read the Bible I am increasingly amazed that people think this is the "greatest book of all time," especially when it is most emphatically NOT. Shakespeare is better than this. Hell, reading Hegel's ramblings on the Zeitgeist is better than this!

But still I trudge on. Next time, Yahweh asks the Israelites to drink blood during their sacrifices.

Above: Hey, they were only doing what they thought God wanted them to do.




I like Deuteronomy, Chapter 7. There's so many things wrong with it - historically, intellectually, and ethically. There's even a little bit of prophecy in there.

Yahweh's prophecies were that 1) the Israelites will conquer seven great nations (Canaanites, Amorites, etc.), and 2) that the Israelites (and their cattle!) will NEVER become infertile. Later on, in Joshua, we find that the Yahweh was simply unable to deliver on the first prophecy. And of course, people of Hebrew descent have the same rate of being barren as any other human.

Historically, this chapter implies that there was more than 20 million people in the region at this time. The archaeological evidence does not support that at all. In fact, anyone that thinks the Bible is inerrant is just plain wrong.

Intellectually, there are a few contradictions:

1) Yahweh tells the Israelites not to intermarry with these other tribes. Moses, of course, is an exception.
2) Yahweh also instructs the Israelites to kill strangers; but a few chapters later in Deuteronomy 10, Israelites are asked to be kind to strangers "because they were strangers in Egypt."

And ethically, this chapter is just a nightmare. It advocates:

1) The killing of strangers who worship a different god.
2) Killing all of the inhabitants (including women and children) of the lands they conquer.
3) Intolerance (don't intermarry, destroy relics of the other people's religions, etc.)

So, that's Chapter 7 in a nutshell. I wonder what an apologist would say? That it's okay in that cultural context and that time period?

Above: An image from www.thebricktestament.com, a young man posts the Law on his gates to keep the Law strong in Israelite society.

After going over the Second Commandment in Chapter 4, Moses reviews all of the Commandments in Chapter 5, and then in Chapter 6 he talks about how to keep the law going. This is basically what Deuteronomy seems to be: a series of sermons from Moses to the Israelites. It's like the pastor's playbook.

In the first three chapters, they reviewed their time in the wilderness. More information was added to it then in Exodus and Numbers. They fought a lot of giants, and conquered off a lot of Canaanite tribes, for example. Now, Moses is reviewing the Commandments with a little more depth, and it's written more like a sermon.

"... when ye heard the voice out of the midst of the darkness, (for the mountain did burn with fire,) that ye came near unto me, even all the heads of your tribes, and your elders ...", sounds like Moses is talking directly to people.

And I think I've already laid out the problems with the Ten Commandments (i.e. women are property, it's okay to own slaves, punishment doesn't fit the crime, etc.).

Chapter 6 is another sermon from Moses, and it is about how to keep the law going strong in Israelite society: which is basically to remind everyone about it and keep talking about it. It sounds like something the Communists were famous for, and what EVERY society does: good ol' fashioned propaganda.

Except, instead of talking about the revolution, or democracy, or freedom; the Israelites were concerned about keeping the Law. What steps did they take? Here's the rundown:

1. Teach it to the children.
2. Talk about it in the privacy of your home or out in public, when sitting, lying down, or standing up.
3. Bind copies of the Law to your hands and on your head.
4. Put it on door posts and to the gates of your house.

Perhaps the last two seem extreme, but we've seen it. The Red Star or the American flag hat; the Che Guevara poster on the wall. The Israelites can be said to have been the first people to record this behavior.

Next time, we discuss bad archaeology in Old Testament.

In Deuteronomy, Chapter 3, Moses and his band of Israelites take on yet ANOTHER giant! This time, he's the king of the Bashanites; a man named Og.

While his name sounds like he's nothing more than a primitive caveman, and his nation sounds like a violent gang (the Bashingites?), Og is apparently the last of the race of giants. I think that's the Israelite priests' gimmick; portray Moses as the Giant Slayer.

Sure enough, we get another wonderful pearl of wisdom in Chapter 3: "And we utterly destroyed them, as we did unto Sihon king of Heshbon, utterly destroying the men, women, and children, of every city. And we utterly destroyed them ... utterly destroying the men, women, and children, of every city. But all the cattle, and the spoil of the cities, we took for a prey to ourselves."

Now, since Og was a giant, he was obviously no pushover. According to the narrator, Og was 9 cubits high! That's like 13 feet high! Shaq ain't got nothin' on him. Og's bed along was 13.5 feet long and six feet wide!

Moses later comforts Joshua with a little pep talk. He essentially says, "You saw how we breezed through those two kingdoms so easily. You serve an awesome God. What OTHER god is there that could kill so many people?!?"

Next time, God promises to utterly destroy anyone who creates ANY graven image!